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Friday, July 22, 2011

Misbehaving Chart

You would think that charting your temps, your CP, and CM would give you a pretty clear idea of what's going on with your body, right?  Well, normally it would, but if you have a chart that misbehaves as mine does, you may never know what's going on in your female parts!  My chart refuses to behave and act as a chart should!  It should have a nice and neat appearance that conforms to most models of an ovulation pattern where ovulation falls directly on or a day before or after cycle day 14.  This should lead to a pattern that either shows a gorgeous 14 day luteal phase or a very obvious triphasic pattern.  This would be the behavior of a chart that behaves as it should!  Mine, however, does not fit this bill.  Mine runs amok as if there are no rules!  The unruly chart thinks it is able to do as it pleases and all to spite me!  HOW RUDE!  I will give you an example:
My chart starts on July 12, 2011 with a temp of 98.1.  From there, the temperatures are up and down until AF is gone.  This, however, is normal.  Then, AF is gone, my temperatures should find a steady up .1 degree, down .2 degrees, and back up .1 or .2 degrees until a few days before ovulation.  At this time, my temperatures should plummet into the depths only to rise again as the phoenix from the ashes!  My temperatures, however, decided to find themselves in a steady free fall from CD8 until today, CD11.  Today, they decided to rise from the ashes as a phoenix!!  Um, hello?  What happened to CD14??  What happened to a +OPK?? or time to BD for 3 days before??  I mean really?  My chart should confer with the OPKs I've been taking that say I have not ovulated therefore there should NOT be a thermal shift of .7 degrees!!  Who does this chart think it is????  Charlie Sheen???  Normally, my chart plays around in the days before ovulation for a while longer than it should, but still follows a discernible pattern with a later ovulation and a very nice 14 day luteal phase.  So, I want to know WHO told my chart that it could just up and change it's O day to CD10 from CD16-22??  Who told my chart that it was time to rise from the ashes when I haven't had a positive OPK, yet?  Honestly, I'd like to talk to the person in charge of this!!  It's absolutely a crime!  I now only had the one chance to BD and might get another tonight, but talk about making chances SLIM to catch that egg!!  POLICE!!  POLICE!!!  Where are the chart police when you need them!!!  ARREST THIS CHART!!  I DEMAND JUSTICE!!!  Just one more thing...can I keep the shorter cycle?

CD11....Possibly 1 DPO?????


  1. HAHAHAHA I LOVE IT!!!! I will come arrest your chart.....who do you think you are possibly causing O on CD10. Wait we might need to arrest your body too?

  2. LOL I guess we would have to arrest my body, too...since that's who is in control of the chart. Hmmmm LOL